Old doors closed with a slam and new ones opened slowly. Some doors led to more waiting. Others led to new exciting projects to inspire others and encourage them to dream or dream again. Studio time was process time. New work began to flow out of the pain and mosaics became a way to slowly, methodically, spiritually re-centering, forgiving, praying, and taking steps to heal my broken, hurting heart. I limited myself to just one outing with a friend a week in order to protect my studio time and to make sure my words and heart were in the right place as I left my home.
I have come face to face with so much of who I am and who I was made to be this year. I often feel like I'm 19 years old again - out to face the world for the first time. I am learning what I am good at, what I'm not, and trying to walk forward with that knowledge as best as I know how.
While winter was painfully long for many of my fellow Nebraska residents, it was a new adventure for me. I felt like a child most days as I explored the newly whitened, snow packed neighborhood in which I live. There was a respite and rest within that season that I found solace in. A quietness in my soul that I long to have define my character from that point forward. I learned the necessity of studio practice for me and regardless of where God will lead me in the seasons ahead, I know that being in the studio on a daily basis (or as close to that as I can) is highly important.
When asked what I'm up to these days, I tell folks I'm "making stuff." It's true and it is as simple as that. Whether it is trying out a new mosaic idea, sculpting a new tree relief, working on wax chasing for my dad's sculptures, or any number of crazy other ideas brought my way, I'm making and in that there is much joy.
I still don't understand much of what led me to today. I don't need to know it all. I am just simply learning to walk in this day and take it as it comes. There is one word that God has brought to me in this season and for however long this season is I hope I will live by it. That word is AVAILABLE. So wherever this journey goes from today, I'll be ready and willing.
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